Have you ever experienced unconditional love?
Do you even believe in unconditional love?
This is a question that has often perplexed me. If love is love, then at what point does it cease to be unconditional and becomes conditional?
Maybe we are just selfish beings and pretend to “love” others only if there is something in it for us.
Or maybe love is such an ingrained thing in us that it’s always there and there is no differentiation between unconditional and conditional love.
This is Day 16 of our “28 day Relationships Adventure” in February. You can read the previous 15 articles by following the links at the bottom of this post.
Today I want to challenge all of you to bring more unconditional love into your lives.
I experienced unconditional love for the first time many years ago during a visit to Nirvana School in South India. This was a life changing experience and led to so many changes in my life and also wonderful experiences.
Earlier today I was reminded of what’s possible with unconditional love, when I had lunch at home with a friend and her two year old son. It was fascinating to watch how mother and son interacted – I might as well have not been there as most of the time they seemed in a world of their own.
No matter what the little boy did or asked for, his mother was infinitely patient in responding and not once did she resort to a raised voice or stern telling off. She responded gently every time and this seemed to work wonders with the little boy responding delightfully – he seemed a very happy and joyous child.
Yet so often in the past I have seen parents really lose it, get impatient and scold their child when he or she shows any signs of “misbehaving”.
I am not saying that these parents are not as good at parenting as my friend; it’s just that it makes sense to respond in a gentle way and treat the child with love. After all, like us adults, all a child wants is some attention, appreciation and love.
Not having any children myself, I cannot know what sort of parent I would make but I hope I would be a loving type:-)
I once wrote an article about my father’s unconditional love for me and a reader responded that I was so lucky to have had that as not many parents are as loving. That was a shock and an eye-opener for me as I had always assumed everyone had loving parents.
Yes, granted some parents may be sterner than others or they may not be the most expressive about their love, but at the end of the day they must surely love their children.
It also works the other way around. It’s been known that even the most abused children refuse to testify against their parents because of their bond and perhaps their unconditional love.
The point is that I am guessing that all parents must love their children unconditionally, no matter what. Conversely we are able to love our parents unconditionally.
And surely that is the kind of barometer for how love can be unconditional?
Which brings me to the point of this article.
What if you could bring unconditional love to all your relationships?
Just imagine how all your relationships would be transformed! The question is can you learn to love unconditionally and if so how?
And the simple answer is – yes, you can.
You just simply choose to love someone!
The moment you choose to love someone and have no expectations in return, your relationship is transformed. You are then able to let go of all your past prejudices, grievances, misgivings etc and you come from a new space.
You can then apply this principle to ALL your relationships.
Indeed, you can even send out unconditional love to all the random strangers you meet every day in the course of your daily life.
Stand back and watch with amazement as your whole world is transformed!
And those around you will also subconsciously get your new vibration of love:-)
Now over to you – I would especially like to hear from those of you who have children.
How do you experience unconditional love in your life? And how do you love others unconditionally?
Please share your answers below.
Here’s the Daily Exercise for Today:-
The first part of today’s exercise is for you to remember a time in your life when you truly felt unconditional love for someone. In your mind’s eye, put yourself back in this situation and remember just how wonderful it felt.
The second part of today’s exercise is a challenge for you to start sending out positive, loving vibrations to every one you meet. Actively do this with intention and certainty. And especially towards those people against whom previously you had harboured negative thoughts.
Finally, review all the key relationships in your life and reflect on where you have been withholding your love. Just decide to make your love unconditional – and do whatever it takes to raise each relationship to a new level.
And if you haven’t already done so, do check out the previous 15 articles in this series here:-
Day 1 – Become Aware of Your Relationships
Day 2 – Love Yourself First Before Loving Anyone Else
Day 3 – Love Yourself Without Becoming Full of Yourself
Day 4 – Love is all that matters
Day 5 – 9 Simple Tips To Create Energising Relationships
Day 6 – Why Decluttering your Friends is Good for You and Them
Day 7 – Stop Bending over Backwards for Other People!
Day 8 – Be Special to Find the Special One
Day 9 – 10 Key Secrets for Becoming Likeable
Day 10 – Don’t Fall in Love – Create Love
Day 11 – Do you Believe in Soulmates?
Day 12 – Open Your Heart and Find the Special One
Day 13 – Create your ideal Valentine’s Day
Day 14 – Make it a Fun Valentine’s Day Everyday!
Day 15 – Make Your Relationship Even More Special
Arvind,
The notion of unconditional love really hits home for me. As a father of four children, I can say my sons and daughters don’t have to do anything to earn my love – they have it unconditionally; and forever.
The concept of unconditional love is perfectly modeled by Christ. I don’t have to say the right things or do the right days to earn His love because He loves me for me.
Feeling His unconditional love empowers me to be a better steward of love for my children; and for everyone else, too.
Alex
Thanks Alex for your contribution as a father of four children.
It’s interesting to know just how parents feel about their children.
For me, it’s humbling to know my parents love me this way too.
A big challenge this one Arvind as it’s easy to see love as something that when it’s given should then come back. But of course it’s our attachment to the love we give out that is the unsound element. To love means we love and feel it within and not having the hope it hits home or is recieved by another who matches ours. The only heart we express is our own. I will try in all my power to remember that and love because I feel it from now on and not because I want it or from a person I want in my life.
John, you have highlighted something that prohbably afflicts most people who are more used to giving rather than receiving – and not just in the area of love.
But when we love just for loving and without any attachment, the world opens up to us.
I wish you all the best in your journey of love and expressing your heart.
Thank you for giving me hope again.
I may not have arrived where you are yet, and I so would like to. To me it seems, that in any relationship there are some things the other person could do that I could no longer love them for.
To love no matter what happens sounds like a beautiful ideal, I hope I will get there in time. It sounds like it requires letting go of all our attachments first, which might take me a while.
Thanks for a great, thought-provoking post,
Jonas
Jonas, welcome back to my blog – good to see you here again:-)
Just know that I too am still on my journey and have not quite reached a point of being able to love everyone unconditionally!.
All that we can do is to aim for that nirvana of unconditional love. And letting go of being attached to getting there.
I wish you well on your journey to unconditional love…