On Friday, half the world will be looking on as the most photographed couple in the world say their marriage vows.
As Prince William and Kate Middleton say their vows, billions of people will look on and share their happiness.
I am writing this from central London and it really is buzzing here.
It’s hard to get across the excitement that is building up. So imagine what the Royal couple must be going through right now!
Whether or not you approve of our monarchy or the Royals, it’s certainly a time for celebration and a day for people to get away from their daily chores and challenges.
Here in the UK, it’s a public holiday and we are having another 4 day holiday weekend here, 2 weeks in a row.
After the celebrations, what’s ahead for the Royal couple?
Unlike almost any other couple, they will not be returning to a life of drudgery and mundane routine.
For the future Queen, life will always be in the public eye and it will be quite a challenge to keep up with protocol and the expectations and challenges which go with her new role as the wife of the future king.
How can they make their relationship even better?
Indeed how can you make your own relationship with your partner even better?
Firstly, everyone should celebrate their love for each other every day, and not just on their wedding day.
Why not simply make the celebration of your love every day a lifelong habit?!
As the Royals take their wedding vows, it’s also a time for newly dating couples as well as “old-timers” to reflect on their own relationship.
So, if you are in a relationship, is it what you always dreamed about?
In a dream relationship, you bring out the best in one another and make yourself stronger together as a team than apart. Such a relationship helps you become a better person and provides you with the happiness that you deserve.
If you have been together for a long time, you could easily take each other for granted. This does not imply that your love for each other is fading, simply a lack of effort.
Be willing to make the time and effort for each other. Jazz up your relationship!
Be realistic too and accept that no one person is ever going to fulfil your every need and desire.
Truly committing yourself to someone requires insight, trust, and being open to vulnerability.
Finding such a person and respecting your judgment are a prerequisite to creating an everlasting, happy relationship.
It must be tough finding a woman worthy to be a Princess or a Queen! But every woman is ultimately a Princess and a Queen.
In a special relationship:-
- You and your partner can be yourselves.
- You are honest and patient with each other.
- You accept one another
- You are kind and thoughtful.
In such an open and caring relationship your love is sure to grow, and working together you can keep your relationship happy and healthy.
The Royal Couple certainly look like their relationship has the attributes of a special relationship. And their relationship will need to be special and everything possible to make it strong and long lasting, what with all the demands and challenges they will face in the public eye.
Here are some simple ways for the Royal couple, and indeed all couples to make their relationship even more special:-
1. Create a vision of your special relationship
Make the fulfilment of your short term and long term needs the criteria for choosing a partner and being in a relationship.
Create and share a vision of your ideal life together.
Don’t fall in love, create love.
2. Accept your partner just as they are
This is a big thing!
Your partner is a very special human being – the only one in the world like them, with their own wonderful traits and unique gifts. Truly love the whole beautiful package they came in.
They are entitled to their own decisions, hobbies, goals and hopes. Find out their deepest desires and get as excited about them, as you are about yours.
And remember too that this wonderful human being is prepared to spend their life with you despite knowing all your shortcomings!
3. Be generous and loving in all your dealings with your partner
Give unconditionally, rather than wanting something back in return.
A lot of relationships work on a 50 / 50 basis whereby partners do things for each other only on a tit for tat basis. Instead, commit 100% to doing things for your partner, and with zero expectation.
If your partner gives you their commitment on the same 100% / zero basis, then you will both be in relationship nirvana!
Men, make her feel like the princess she really is!
4. Always be in integrity
Commit to tell your partner the total truth, as honesty is one of the key things people want in a relationship.
Knowing they can trust you builds a zone of safety and comfort around them.
5. Resolve your differences as soon as they happen
Conflict actually fuels a genuinely passionate partnership. So accept responsibility for your part of the issue at stake, and do not blame your partner. The sooner you stop blaming and start talking, the better you will feel.
Never go to sleep with an unresolved issue. Last thing at night, tell your partner what you love about them being in your life.
6. Do not criticise
It is ok to complain but not criticise!
Your partner is doing the best they can – support them in becoming an even better person – you will benefit in the long term.
NEVER put your partner down in front of other people. Especially when you have umpteen cameras watching your every move!
7. Create a castle for your partner
Ok, not every man will be literally able to house his bride in a castle! But you can certainly make her feel safe and special.
Make your partner feel so safe and secure with you, that they drop all their defensiveness. It is natural to feel fear and you can help them overcome it with lots of tender loving care.
Thoughtfulness is so important in a healthy relationship. So be considerate of your partner’s feelings and treat them with the utmost care and kindness.
8. Let go of the past.
All relationships have their difficulties – so remember only the lessons learnt and forget the details. Weather the stormy moments, and savour the memory of sunny days.
Remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. What attracted you to each other? What do you admire about your partner’s personality?
9. Have a fun date with your partner regularly and often
Spend at least one evening a week with each other. At that particular time nothing is as important as your time together. Strengthen your relationship by putting each other first. Give the relationship the same commitment you made when you first started dating – simply put each other first!
10. Listen to your mother-in-law and treat her with respect
This one is especially for Kate! No matter what, listen to the mother-in-law. Unlike almost all other mothers-in-law in the world, your mother-in-law really is a very powerful woman and also much more worldly-wise than you.
Though no other man or woman will have to compete with such a mother-in-law, no matter who she is, treat her with the respect and reverence she deserves. After all, she will usually be the one who brought up the man / woman who is now your partner.
A Daily Exercise for all the Princes and Princesses in the World
In the eyes of your partner, you are indeed a prince / princess. Or should be!
An exercise you can do every day is to recreate your Wedding Day vows every day. Do something extra nice for your partner today – and every day.
And then go through the above tips and begin to work on creating and recreating your special relationship today.
Celebrate your love for each other every day – and not just when you are in the public glare!
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Image (c) Mario Testino 2010
Arvind,
This was exceptional! You’ve made so many good points here. I think putting each other first and really, not criticizing and resolving differences immediately are all such great pieces of advice.
I do hope that the young royals will take heed of your advice. I loved the advice to Kate about her future mother-in-law too!
Angela, London is really buzzing today!
At times we forget what heritage we have this country, regardless of whether you like the monarchy or not.
Glad you liked these ideas – now if only the Royal Couple get a chance to read my article:-)
Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.
Justin, I just rescued your comment from my spam folder!
Your words are perfect for the newly wed Royal Couple:-)
I feel bad for this young couple – marriage is difficult without everyone in your business!
http://www.enriching-life.com
Katie, yes they will certainly have very few private moments.
But at the same time, they have such a priviliged life style, I am sure they will thrive and growm into their public roles.
Hi Arvind,
As you say, agree or not, the royals have a greater responsibility because what they do and say is followed by the multitudes. When the whole country, if not much of the world, grinds to a halt to watch your wedding, you’d better mean it!
I hope that William has learned a lot of lessons from the marriage mistakes of his nearest and dearest…
https://minimalistmum.blogspot.com/2011/04/tradition-breastfeeding-fathers-and.html
Jess, indeed the Royals have a great responsibility – and let’s hope the younger generation live up to it.
I am sure William will be guided by the memories and spirit of his late mother.
Arvind,
After 26 years of marriage, I can say your tips are spot on. These will work for Prince William and Kate and still work for my princess as well.
Alex
Alex, you have one very lucky princess in your life:-)
Hi Arvind,
You should’ve been a pre-marriage counselor.
Some really great tips you’ve posted that would help any relationship no matter whether they were floundering or blissful.
Keep up the good work.
Andre
Andre, yes I could have been a marriage counsellor – but only because I learnt so much from my own marriage which ended years ago:-)
Let’s hope a lot of couples as well as the Royal Couple apply and learn from these timeless tips.
Wonderful work Arvind, very good read about the world’s most famous couple! I loved the tips “Jazz up your relationship” and “Create a castle for your partner”, very good play on words 😉
Regarding a castle, it doesn’t matter how big or small your ‘castle’ is, as long as your other half feels protected in it, then that’s OK. Better to feel safe and protected in a small flat than insecure and vulnerable in a mansion 🙂
Stuart, glad that you spotted and liked the play on words relating to the Royal Wedding:-)
Indeed, your “castle” is where you make your partner feel safe and wanted, regardless of its size or stature.
The late Princess Diana suffered many lonely and sad nights in St James castle. Let that be an enduring lesson for others who crave the grandeur and trappings that go with a “castle”.
I agree with you about what you wrote “get the other like he”It seems to me most important, and probably also the most difficult:)
But as criticism, you wrote “not to criticize” what about what that is called “constructive criticism” or “positive criticism”?
Jo, welcome to my blog.
I would suggest that rather than calling it criticism, you reframe it as constructive feedback:-)
I think that it will be harder for the royal couple knowing the public is watching them. Well we just hope for the best of them…:)
Yes, Keish that’s all we can hope for the Royal Wedding 🙂
The world just needs to let them get on with their lives.
I especially enjoyed this post. Thanks for that. I will tell others about this too.